Thursday 6 July 2017

6 Things I've Learnt In 6 Years About Relationships

So today is actually mine and Georges 6 year anniversary. Is it an anniversary if you're not married? I'm not sure but today it is 6 years since we first got together. I actually can't believe how fast it has gone. We're closer to 10 years together than we are to 1, I just find that insane! As I've been in a relationship for 6 years now, I've learnt quite a few things in that time and I thought it would be fun to tell you some of them. Let me know in the comments if you relate to any of these things, and also if you're in a relationship, what you've learnt! I'd love to know.

1. Boys are messy

This is something I've had to deal with right from the start. I remember when I used to go round to Georges for the weekend and I'm sure he won't mind me saying, his room was usually a bit of a tip. I used to wait downstairs while he made it all clean and tidy on a Friday night and on the Sunday before I went, I always liked to make sure it was nice and tidy for him for the week, also in the hope he would keep on top of it and it wouldn't be a mess again within a few days! Unfortunately boys just are messy a lot of the time. I think we both do our fair share of house work now, but there are times when clothes will just be left on the floor, or NEXT to the laundry basket, or they'll be pots on the side rather than in the sink. They'll always be stuff like that but I've learnt to deal with it, I don't think boys look at mess like women do, if I see mess I need to tidy it up, but it's like they just see things in a completely different way sometimes!

2. Time without phones is so important 

I'm sure most people can say they are guilty of spending far too much time on their phone, me included. It's basically attached to my hand, I take it everywhere. We're definitely guilty of sitting down to watch a film or a TV show and yet still spend the majority of it on social media. I always feel like I'm missing stuff if I'm not on Instagram or Twitter for a while, but really it's ridiculous. Every so often we'll have a day where we just have no phones, or we'll try to only go on them if we need too. Or if we're going to watch a film, we'll leave our phones somewhere else and just properly spend that time together without going online. Time without phones is SO important, everyone gets a bit obsessed with social media and it can take away from special moments. Even just when we're away in London, I try to have less time on my phone. I take photos and maybe post a few on Instagram, but apart from that I want us just have that time together without wondering about anyone else.

3. Not everyday will be perfect 

Some days can be so lovely and everything can just seem so perfect but there are always going to be days where you argue, or snap at each other for no reason. Sometimes you do just wake up in a bad mood and take it out on the other person, sometimes they've done something small wrong, but you completely overreact. That's just what relationships are like sometimes. You stress about money, you stress about family, you stress about work, all of these sorts of things can happen and it can affect your relationship. Talking is the most important thing and whenever I'm feeling particularly stressed or down, I say, because otherwise I'll just snap and things will be 10x worse. They'll be good times and bad times over the years but it's just about communication, looking after each other and getting through it all together.

4. You Should Never Go To Bed Angry 

No matter what has happened each day, no matter if we've had the biggest argument in the world, we always say I love you before we go to sleep. There have been times in the past where we've fallen asleep mad, and then I've woken up in the night and had to say it then, just because I hate the thought of something happening while we're asleep and then our last words to each other being something not that nice. I know that's pretty deep but anything can happen at any time, and you never know when you're going to lose somebody, so saying I love you every night for me is a must. Never go to bed angry, always try and resolve whatevers gone on before, I just think it would be the worst thing in the world for your last words to somebody, to have been in an argument.

5. Small Gestures Matter 

As much as big gestures are nice and presents are always lovely, the small gestures are the ones that matter. Just doing the pots after tea, taking the washing out of the washer, a foot rub, a bunch of flowers. All of these things are just little ways of saying I love you, and show that you care. It's not all about spending money and doing big amazing things.

6. Don't Bottle Things Up

 I am so guilty of this but it's the worst thing. I don't like to bother people when I'm feeling down or stressed so I let whatevers going on in my head, build and build and build and then one day I could drop a spoon on the floor or something trivial like that, and I'll just snap or have some sort of breakdown. Don't let things build up, if you're partner has upset you, tell them! and talk about it. Communication is key, how can they resolve things if you don't tell them? or if you're feeling low how can they make you feel better if you don't tell them? Bottling things up only makes things worse for everyone and usually leads to even bigger arguments when there really is no need.

There have definitely been difficult times in the 6 years we've been together, but somehow we've made it through all of them, there isn't anybody else I would want by my side. I've learnt a lot about myself, and I've learnt a lot about men! I would love to know if you agree with any of these, or if you're in a relationship, what else you've learnt! I still can't believe it's been this long.

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