Thursday 28 December 2017

An End Of Year Look At My 2017 Goals

At the start of 2017 I set myself several goals and I think it's about time I go back over them and see what I did and didn't achieve. I set myself some personal ones which are the ones in this post and I also set myself some blogging goals so lookout for a follow up post on those next week.

Find Part Time Work

Well this didn't work out how I planned. I had given myself until March before starting to look for a part time job but I just wasn't well enough. My anxiety has been so bad this year and there was no way I could possibly go back into a work environment full of people I don't know. I've also physically not been well with girl things causing all sorts of problems for me, that and anxiety combined have not been good and it's just been a bit of a disaster on the work front. I'm feeling so much better now and I'm really hoping 2018 is the year I get back into work. There was no point forcing myself just because I was worried about what others thought, because it just wasn't the right time this year for it.

Stick To Slimming World

Yep, another thing which didn't go how I planned. This is a hard one to explain as it's something else that relates to my anxiety. Because a lot of my anxiety is health related, if I get a tiny bit ill or don't feel well, I go straight into OMG I'M DYING I NEED TO PLAN MY FUNERAL. That's just what health anxiety is like and therefore if I lose any weight, it's hard for my mind to work out that it's because I've been TRYING to not because I'm ill. My head just goes straight to, well I'm losing weight so I must be really ill? It makes following something like Slimming World very difficult and it wasn't something I could really properly focus on until that was under control. I do want to lose weight as I just don't feel that comfortable at the moment and I want to be as healthy as possible and it's not for want of trying, this year just hasn't been the year for it. I've definitely not been an angel with food but I've also not been awful so it's not a massive fail on this but also not a win either.

Stress Less

I think for the majority of this year I've just been one big ball of stress. I have good months and bad months and it depends what sorts of things there are to trigger it. For example around my birthday I was really, really stressed because I just felt like no one cared or would even send a card, and it kind of spiralled after that. Other events and things have happened throughout the year that have stressed me out, some I've dealt with well and other I haven't really been able to get out my head and I think I'll always be like that. Over the last few months though I've definitely calmed down A LOT and I'll explain more in the anxiety point below, but at the moment I'm definitely not stressing as much as before and just taking everything as it comes. Another mixed one. I'm not doing too well with these am I.

Treat Others How They Treat Me

I definitely think I've been much firmer this year with people. I like to think I'm a very nice person so it can be very hard to not get walked all over sometimes and just let things slide, but after a tough year, I'm now so done with trying with those that don't with me anymore. I'm someone who tries and tries with people and does nice thing after nice thing to never get it returned but I've reached that point with people now where I just won't carry on with it. I'm definitely treating others how they treat me now more, I just can't deal with the stress of it. If people are good to me I'll be good to them but if they're not bothered, I'm not anymore either.

Read More

I've not read loads this year but definitely more than 2016 so that's a bonus! I love getting stuck into a good book but my phone is just attached to my hand the majority of the time so it doesn't happen often. I read Jim Chapmans book a few months ago which really gave me the reading bug again and I'm just about to start Frazzled by Ruby Wax.

Get A Hold Of My Anxiety

 It's took a long time but I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere. As I've not been well on and off this year my anxiety has been all over the place. When I'm not well my anxiety goes mental because I just get convinced I'm dying. Luckily I seem to be coming out of the other end of it after a good chat with my DR and it seems like I finally have some support and understanding. I'm actually now on tablets for my anxiety, this is my first time mentioning it on my blog which I'm a little scared about, but they are helping massively! I was so set on not having medication for it for a long, long time, even though it was suggested to me the first time I went to a DR about anxiety, but I just had a feeling a few months ago that it was time. I knew that just waiting for councelling wasn't working and I needed something more and I can't even tell you how much better I'm feeling. I'm not saying it's all sorted because there are still things I need help with and need to talk through but they've took the edge of and I can get through the day now feeling 10x better than I did before. It won't be a long term thing but for now it's a good thing and I definitely think I'm on track to getting a hold of my anxiety properly.

It's safe to say these personal goals didn't really go to plan but there's nothing I can do about it now. I did my best with every single thing and at least I achieved some of them! Hopefully next years goals will go better than these, but I'm just glad at least some of them have worked out.

Did you set yourself any goals this year?

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